You know you've been in Norway too long, when...

• You associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and xmas eve.
• It seems sensible that the age limit at Oslo night clubs is 23 or 25.
• You find yourself debating the politics of Torbjørn Jagland.
• You think there are no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
• It seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity.
• You think cross-country skiing is the only *real* skiing.
• You know at least five different words describing different kinds of snow.
• The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine.
• You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
• A sharp intake of breath has become part of your active vocabulary.
• You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Vinmonopolet (State wine monopoly).
• You think nothing of paying 50NOK for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at Vinmonopolet. (US$1,- = NOK 7.50)
• Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you "eat medicine" and "go and lay yourself".
• You rummage through your plastic bottles collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to the recycle center.
• It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.
• Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
• When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
  1. he is drunk;
  2. he is insane;
  3. he is American;
  4. he is all of the above.
• Silence is fun. (!!!)
• The reason you take the ferry to Denmark is:
  1. duty free vodka
  2. duty free beer
  3. to party
• The only reason for getting of the boat in Copenhagen is to eat pizza.
• It no longer seems excessive to spend 500NOK on alcohol in a single night.
• You care who wins the "Hvem fanger sommerens stoerste fisk" contest.
• Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable.
• You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".
• You enjoy the taste of lutefisk.
• You use mmmm as a conversation filler.
• An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild (in mid June).
• You wear sandals with socks.
• You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
• You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do (with or without snowtires).

Written by persons unknown